I’m well aware that you guys have come to expect consistently brilliant stuff from me. As a matter of fact, I happen to fart brilliance. However, it’s hard work trying to squeeze anything from the national team out during “off periods.” I’m following all the youth programs. I’m keeping a close eye on the managerial situation. I even followed Ronaldo into the men’s room the other day to try and get something to blog about.

Alas, I’ve presently got what Ronaldo went into the bathroom to take: shit (and yes, incidentally, his B.M. does smell like ice cream). With a shortage of WAGs to post (I think we’re saturated enough with Nereida Gallardo and Deco’s flavors of the month) I’m at a loss for content. I’m more or less posting this to make sure you guys don’t go too far and so you have something nice to look at for a bit. As soon as something material hits the waves, you can expect to hear about it here.

The last time I ran pics of her back in the day on the SuperLiga Offside, my eleven faithful readers thought Jaciara was a top rated chickie. There have been reports of infidelity by Deco but I have no clue why. Unless she’s like every other annoying woman. Which she probably is, so I guess he likely has his reasons.

**Update** As Inara informed me below, and I should have checked up on this, these two are actually divorced now, as of March of this year. The reports of infidelity turned out to be true, as Deco got caught with a hooker. What’s with footballers and paying for sex? If I were them, I’d walk around naked and just wait for the first vixen to jump on. That has to be cheaper.

I realize that as the first match gets closer that the news out of SwissAustria is going to become more frequent, interesting, and important. I’ve used these daily features (WAG Weds, Team of Tom. Tues, etc) as a means of both getting discussion started and having readers become acquainted with the team. However, as with this particular feature today, I’m going to probably either have to skip some days altogether or have news tidbits to supplement the players’ bed mates. So don’t get sad if your T&A gets replaced by some “boring” news about Scolari announcing a first match starting XI or something.

-= Quick News and Notes from Training =-

** I didn’t make a big deal about it when it happened, but Ronaldo was given the #7 shirt previously occupied by Figo a little over a week ago, which basically makes him the de facto “captain.” The full list of shirt numbers is as follows:
1 — Ricardo
2 — Paulo Ferreira
3 — Bruno Alves
4 — Bosingwa
5 — Fernando Meira
6 — Raul Meireles
7 — Cristiano Ronaldo
8 — Petit
9 — Hugo Almeida
10 — João Moutinho
11 — Simão
12 — Quim
13 — Miguel
14 — Jorge Ribeiro
15 — Pepe
16 — Ricardo Carvalho
17 — Ricardo Quaresma
18 — Miguel Veloso
19 — Nani
20 — Deco
21 — Nuno Gomes
22 — Rui Patrício
23 — Hélder Postiga

** Assistant coach Fernando Brassard claims that all three keepers have a shot at starting. Although Ricardo’s been the only keeper to play with the “first” team in training while Quim and Rui Patricio split time between the “second” team and mixing the Gatorade (or is it Lucozade?).

** In addition to Ricardo, it seems that Ricardo Carvalho, Petit, and our favorite forward Nuno Gomes have been seeing a lot of time on the first team side. Bosingwa also has been in the back often along with his new Chelsea teammate Paulo Ferreira. Cristiano is a given at this point, and along with Ricky C, Frenchy, and No Goals, has been basically penciled in for a spot in the starting XI.

Enjoy the rest of your hump day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow. Kisses all around.

I mean, when it comes to my wife, I’m not even an international footballer and she knows she is never permitted out of the house without at least some concealer, a fresh outfit, and a thorough flat ironing of her hair. I actually make her flat iron her hair before she comes to bed, her naturally curly hair brings way too much attention to her face and brings out a lot of her flaws. If I had to sleep next to her like that I’d have nightmares. And that is TOTALLY unacceptable.