Portugal v John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, and Jeff Conway (pre-rehab)

March 26th, 2008 | by: Greg | Comments(1)

The Selecção are in Dusseldorf for today’s final Euro 2008 tune up, a friendly against every Chop football fan’s favorite team and European Championship holders Greece. LandPhil has been farting around with the lineup incessantly on the training ground, leading to mass speculation as to how the team is going to line up and where he figures goals might come from.

Given the timing of the match and the nature of the large number of absences, the media and fan base need to chill the hell out and see this match for what it is: a final cut down. While the argument can be made that it’s the last contest going into the tournament and momentum is important and it’s against a team that will be in the tournament, and they need to bounce back after the 3-1 ass annihilation at the hands of World Cup holders Italy, blah blah blah. In the end, one huge fact can not be lost on us: THE RESULT OF THIS MATCH DOES NOT COUNT.

If it did, something tells me Crissy, Nani, and the whole crew would have their little Portuguese poop centers on a plane to Dusseldorf immediately. Since it DOESN’T, this is essentially a scrimmage to determine who gets to spend a month or so in the Alps this summer. Why not truly treat it as such, what with the lax friendly substitution rules? Scolari probably will do a bit of both to keep the media from going nuts should they lose something like 2-0. I usually tend to give a genuine prediction of how the team is going to line up, but here’s how I’d like to see them line up and thus treat this game as a true test of those on the cusp of making it to the finals this summer…

Quaresma – Hugo Almeida – Simão
João Moutinho – Raul Meireles
Miguel Veloso (Carlos Martins 60)
Paulo Ferreira (Jorge Ribeiro 45) – Pepe – Bruno Alves – Caneira (Miguel 60)
Ricardo (Rui Patricio 45)

I know the above is not even close to what you’re going to see tomorrow (Raul Meireles might not even get a jacket and his own Gatorade bottle). However, if I were trying to make a genuine determination of who deserves to go and who doesn’t, that’s how I’d start at the very least. Maybe sub in different, less experienced players with a few veterans to see if and how they mesh together. I’d let Carvalho sit and rest whatever knock he took: you know he’s going to be one of your center backs and is going to be playing a lot of demanding football for Chelsea in the coming months leading up to the finals.

See you tomorrow, where we can get together like a bunch of school girls to gossip and crack gum over how this team has no chance of scoring any goals and is doomed. Kisses ALL AROUND!